Thirteen Stories from Parker's First Week

Our little baby P is already one week old. She's growing up so fast (tear!). Well, maybe not that fast, but Suellen's doctor did joke that she'll be walking by the end of the week since she's so friggin' huge. Any way, here are 13 little P stories from her first week of life.

1. Parker was so big after her birth that the NICU nurses had to hunt around for size 1 diapers just to cover her big 'ole booty.

2. She's as big on the top as she is on the bottom. The standard issue hospital hats were too small as well, so Parker got a funky little knitted hat to keep her noggin warm.

3. For the first few days, Parker would only open her eyes in the presence of her uncles. If Eric or Stu wasn't there, we weren't getting any eye open time.

4. We purchased this cute little outfit with matching hat, onsie, mittens, booties, the whole shabang to take her home in. When we dressed her up on Monday and finally put the hat on, she gave Suellen and I the most disgusted look ever. It was like "What the hell is this crap?" She is totally our daughter.

5. On two separate occasions, Parker has put her hand to her mouth, removed her pacifier and held it up in the air. I know that's really random movement, but I like to thing it's the beginnings of genius.

6. Keeping with the hands theme, occasionally P will put her pinky finger up to her mouth in a very Dr. Evil way.

7. She also randomly throws her arms up above her head. We can't decide whether she's thinking "Hallejuah" or "Touch Down". Of course if she's really a Bears fan, it's probably both simultaneously.

8. The first time we took her into the nursery was to change her diaper. I was talking to her and narrating all the decorating we'd done, and as soon as I said something about the cute frog cover on her changing table, she peed all over it.

9. After the pee incident, we put her in her bouncy seat. About an hour later, she pooped all over that. When we took her into the nursery to clean her up, she got poop all over the changing table. Within six hours of being home, we were already on our last changing table cover!

10. She goes from sleeping to ravenously hungry in about 60 seconds. When she gets frustrated, she face plants into your sternum. Suellen and I call this 'looking for the mythical 3rd boob'. Clearly that's where all the milk is.

11. In fact, she was so hungry the other day, that as I was rubbing her cheek, she turned and latched on to my finger. She's got some really suction going on because I had to use my other hand to pry her off.

12. She makes the most horrid smelling farts ever. Ever.

13. I don't know if i's gas or what, but when you talk about her and you say something stupid, she lifts her one eyebrow at you. It's like she's already got a BS detector. You go P.