Shutterfly Plug

This blog post is brought you by Shutterfly - perhaps the most awesome photo related site on the web. We use Shutterfly to host all of Parker's pictures. We created a password protected cite so that our family - namely her Grandparents - can order whatever they want from the shots we took.

That was really the first reason we started with them. Then we realized all the cool stuff you can do. Their photo cards are SUPER-EASY to make and edit. We've used them for birth announcements and holiday cards. We ordered some big collage prints in Parker's early days to capture just how much she was changing, and now all the Grandparents get a Parker themed calendar for Christmas (sorry future cousins - we call dibs).

In a word, or really several - they are great. And best of all, they are running a promotion where if you write a blog about your Shuttefly uses, you get free stuff. Check out the links below and be sure to visit their website.

Christmas cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards

· holiday cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards

· Christmas photo cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery

· photo albums to http://www.shutterfly.com/photo-books/simple-path

· photo mugs to http://www.shutterfly.com/photo-gifts/photo-mugs

· birthday party cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/birthday-cards-stationery

· Choose your own card/invitation and URL from our Cards & Stationerypage

Am I Shameless

Yes.

This is my first blog post in months, and it is mostly solely to earn free Christmas Cards. Thank you corporate America for killing my soul.

http://bit.ly/sfly2010 - Click here to learn how you too can get free Shutterfly Cards.

Note - I do really love Shutterfly. We use them for everything.

Where was I?

Wed. 2/10 - Barn burner; pep band ensured win.

Thurs. 2/11 - More basketball; more tired; less pep.

Fri. 2/12 - Real teachers just do it, duh.

Sat. 2/13 - Parker loves her grandparents; I nap.

Tuesday 2/9

Snow Day, but not for Suellen.

:(

Note - If I could some how make a smilely that looked like it was saying "Ha Ha", I would post that as well.

Monday 2/8 in six words

Brer Rabbit would beat Beowulf, barely.

New attempt at blogging begins again?!?

So the other day, I read this article on NPR.org about a book of 6-word autobiographies. I haven't read the book, but some of the excerpted ones were pretty cool, and since seeing the story, I've been trying to mentally sum up each day in six words. Here are my entries for this weekend.

Sat 2/6 - Saw many houses; please buy ours.

Sun 2/7 - Sitting on couch until big game.

Pretty exciting life huh? Not really.

Regardless, I think it's a cool writing exercise to try.

And...if you care about:

a. writing

b. me

c. all of the above

then you might be interested in a writing workshop I'm giving Tuesday night, February 16 at 7:00 at University High School (116th St between Michigan and Towne Rd). It's part of our faculty speakers series.

How's that for a shameless plug?

Untitled Rough Draft #1

It is 6:15, and I can already hear it. Grandpa’s bird song is a hard-to-miss melody of airy whistles, something that barely resembles a chirping noise, and the word ‘hey’, all compounded by the fact that he calls both of his parakeet’s JJ and consistently feels the need to personalize his morning tribute. It is summer. We are at my grandparent’s. There is no need for an alarm clock.

Enough sunlight filtering in through the yellowed curtains that I can see my way around the double bed where my mother still sleeps, past my brother’s cot and out onto the landing. In the winter, this is the only heated room on the second floor of a drafty farmhouse, but for now the breeze through the dormer window suffices for temperature control.

I pull the door shut quietly and tiptoe down the stairs as the song ends. Grandpa doesn’t see me as he shuffles out to the kitchen to finish his breakfast of Wheaties and prunes before strapping his feet into work boots and heading out to the shop and the long day ahead. I don’t notice it yet, but the signs of age are already tattooing themselves in his bones. The dark spots on his arms. The grunt as he lifts his leg to tie his boot. The imperceptible quiver of his hand as he raises the spoon.

But I am young now and think of him only as big and strong, a figure more than a person. One who rises early, leaves for the fields, comes back only to eat and maybe watch a little professional wrestling on TV before going to bed.

Grandma is much more real. A softer and quieter being. A practiced listener. She turns from the sink as I enter the kitchen and says ‘mornin’ while wiping her hands on the soft blue cotton of her housecoat. She offers to make me eggs, a rare morning treat given the terse quickness of suburban adolescence. I ask for two, but not ‘soaky’, as she calls them. At this point I’m still a food compartmentalist, someone who believes in the strict separation of toast and yolk. She pulls the fry pan out from the drawer beneath the stove and crosses the worn brown carpet to the refrigerator without another word.

The kitchen is bright with sunlight now. It is warm. Grandpa leaves the back door when he goes. I cross back past the birdcages into the living room and dial the antenna to pick up cartoons on the console television. I am happy now. Content. I don’t know that in another tens years he will slowly lose his body and mind to palsy. That in fifteen she will barely be able to walk across the rented trailer we move them into. That the January before I turn thirty, I will drive to visit them lying under a blanket of snow and break the ice off their headstone with bare hands as my own daughter sleeps in the car, never having met either of them before they died.

Instead, I think only of the smell of bacon frying and the sounds of the birds preening themselves, of the static on the television screen and the day ahead. Later that afternoon, my cousin will come over and we will kick stones along for a quarter-mile up the road to the main farm, only turning around to taunt my brother as he stands at the edge of the yard, telling him he can't come with, we are walking all the way to California.

Is Anybody Out There?

In the spirit of the new year (yes it takes me until Jan. 19th to get around to 'new year' spirit), I've been thinking about ways to improve my life. Call them goals or resolutions or what-have-you, but I've been thinking of them nonetheless. And, all this thinking inevitably led me back to the goals I set at the start of 2009. I'd thought I'd reflect a bit on them before launching into another series of high aims and low ambition.

1. Lose weight. I did this. I lost 30 pounds last year, then gained 10 of it back. Hopefully this year I can net a bit more.

2. Read. It took me a bit, but I mostly accomplished this as well. Last year saw me read 20 Something Essays By 20 Something Writers, Haroun and the Sea of Stories (by Salman Rushdie), Lamb (by Christopher Moore), Everything is Illuminated (by Jonathon Safran Foer), and a host of other poems and such.

3. Make a financial plan. Ok, no real plan here. But we did make a budget we sometimes keep, and we got all our insurance/retirement ducks in a row.

4. Figure out just what we would need (and could afford) in a second home. Well, our house is on the market. We aren't looking yet - mostly because no one is really looking at us - but we do have a wish-list and a price range. And, we've been watching a bunch of House Hunters

5. Collect all my thoughts about conceiving Parker, having Parker, and now raising Parker into one coherent piece of writing instead of just keeping them in bits and pieces here and there and in my head. Yeah..no. I'm moving this one from 'year goal' to 'life goal' and we'll see how it goes. If it works, lesbian parenting is a pretty niche market so maybe I can get book deal.

6. Attend at least four arts events in the city. 75% Done. I heard Elizabeth Alexander read at Butler. We saw A Christmas Carol at IRT. And I tried to take a group of students to hear Charles Simic read, but it was cancelled so I ended up making them write their own poems and then had them read their pieces on the steps of the Carillon at Butler.

7. Find a church. I'm calling this one 75% done too. We found one we like and are in the process of talking to them about joining.

8. Write more things down. I have done this. Has it led to anything? No. I have mostly just found that I am now too busy to remember things without writing them down. But, I am giving a talk on recreational writing for the general public in February. If anyone wants to come, let me know.

9. Blog more. Three = number of blogs in 2009. I'm going with a no.

10. Take Suellen on a trip for our anniversary. Did it. We went to Chicago for 4 days. It was perfect.

11. Take a vacation with Parker. Did this too. A whole week in Leland, MI. It was more family perfection time.

12. Start playing the trumpet again. Does UHS Pep band count?

13. Go back to New Hampshire for a bit. No luck here. But there's always this summer...

Now, to start on 2010.

Don't Look Too Closely, I'm Just Acting

So I've kind of sucked it up on my goals this past month. I'm still reading the book I started reading over winter break. I clearly haven't been writing, our finances are no much more settled than earlier, we have not taken a trip (thought that is a summer goal in my defense), and the only trumpet playing I've really done was at University basketball games (which isn't pretty and doesn't count). BUT, I have crossed the 20 pound mark on my weight lost quest (that goal actually began in October, so I get to count from there), and I have dreamt a good deal about what I want in a house, though sadly we can afford none of it.

Things look fairly pathetic; however, in all my insane prep work for school, I did come across some poems I wrote a few years back the last time I taught the poetry course I'm teaching right now. They both come from in-class exercises I used to do with the students, but I don't remember the exact details. The first one (which I don't really like) had something to do with a newspaper article about uncovering a slave cemetery in New York City. It made me think of "For the Union Dead" by Robert Lowell (which you'll have to read on your own time), and is a pretty poor knock off. The second, which I think is half way decent, was probably based off a homonym exercise since it involves 'pairing' and 'paring.' (Side note: I am mildly obsessed with closely related words that mean opposing things. For example, 'cleave' is like the best verb in the entire world since it can mean both "hold on to" and "force apart".)

I'm posting them both here to: a) give the impression that I've actually been writing, b) fulfill my own constant desire to obsess over poems I've already written rather than write new ones, and c) to see if anyone even still reads this blog.

Cheers!

Rebury the Dead

The cityscape will gain a few
more players soon. Bulldozers have
scratched in the street
all morning, their long arms
clawing through urban farmland
harvesting lamp poles, tilling stone. And
where do we replace the bones beneath our street
so long ago left to be awoken
this way? Who will sing their songs
under the asphalt? Who will hear their stories
pound our foot soles? Not so much

has changed

in a hundred years, in fifty years, in
four days. A ditch is still
a ditch. How many more
years until we find ourselves
unearthed in the role of progress
a lot awarded to the highest bidder.

All around the tiny burial ground
new finless fish slide by the pavement
covered with grease.


Paring

You phoned last week
to tell me about the dinner
you had six months ago. Next year
I will return your
call and we will continue down,
paring our discourse
until all that remains is the hum
and static on the line
between our gapped breaths
and unmentioned loves. It is amazing how
I haven’t seen you in years but felt
the brush of your skin (we
never touched
enough) on my face. Such absence –
two stalks set
in such a difficult pairing.

Goals check

I've pretty much sucked at several of my goals so far. I have been reading more. I started a book called Heatby Bill Buford. It's a personal history about how he tried to become a chef by throwing himself into all these crazy kitchen jobs. It's quite good. I haven't done much else - save one thing - yet, and I'm blaming Jterm, which is this intensive three week course thing we do at my school that basically becomes a giant time void if you are teaching one. But I did get this note written for Facebook, which I'm counting as part of my 'collecting my thoughts' goal. And now if I post it here, it will be like it's part of my 'blog more goal too'. Yea for double duty.

Correspondence is my downfall. I suck at keeping in touch...with anyone. Facebook reminded me of this the other day when I was friended by a grade-school friend who, while she only lived down the street from me for most of high school, I never really saw past 1994 (Kim - I suck for that).

In fact, over the last few months, I've been friended by oodles of people I haven't been in contact with since college or high school or grade school or CCD in the second grade. It's been great to see what's happened to everyone. To look at where people ended up, how cute their children are, how much more fascinating than Indiana their lives have become. However, when it comes time to actually catch up with anyone, I some how get a mental block and end up sucked into a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon or looking up odd facts about C.P. Cavafy on the internet or changing the laundry or anyone of the many time-voids in my life. I hate this trend.

So, I'm writing this note with the intent of 'catching up' all of you kind enough to say hey recently. If you've wondered what's happened to me since grade school, read on. And if you have a second shout back. I'm going to try not to suck at responding.

Ch. 2 - High School

Much to my parents' chagrin (they never really got over me not going to Marian), I graduated from Thornwood High School in 1998. Overall, it was a relatively un-scathing experience. I think that I learned a fair amount, and only really managed to piss off my freshman English teacher, Mrs. McNaughton, who was convinced I was a closeted hooligan who would never learn to spell. At the end of it all, I gave a very cliched speech at graduation in which I read from Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken", a poem I now realize is grossly misinterpreted.

Ch. 3 - College

I attended Butler University in Indianapolis and vacillated between majoring in music education and English for most of my time there. After my first private trumpet instructor told me I should find an instrument I was better at (I'm paraphrasing loosely), I took stock of my options and decided that majoring in creative writing would yield endless job opportunities and riches beyond my wildest dreams. Or maybe I just liked it better. Either way, I graduated with a poetry emphasis in 2002, having met my partner Suellen by falling down in front of her during marching band practice. At least I got something good out of all those music classes after all.

Ch. 4 - Post-college

Frustrated by the lack of people wanting to hire a poet with little experience at anything, I decided to continue life as a student. That's not entirely true. Suellen was nice enough to take a crappy job in New Hampshire so that I could go to graduate school and really focus on writing. While I liked my work at the University of New Hampshire, the east coast eventually proved to be a bit too far from home - and too expensive - for us. I took an overload of courses to finish early, and after an expansive job search by Suellen, we ended up back in Indianapolis, where I began my luxurious stint as a urine drug screen collection scheduler. Jealous? You should be. Apparently studying with the man who went on to become the Poet Laureate leaves one highly qualified to say "Come in at 10 and piss in a cup". Who knew? Luckily, I started teaching night courses at the community college, and eventually landed my current job, which leads me to ...

Ch. 5 - Post-post-college, or current life

Now I teach English and creative writing at University High School, a progressive college prep school in a suburb of Indianapolis. I live with Suellen on the outskirts of Indy in a house that cannot stay warm enough this frost-bitten winter. This past September, Suellen gave birth to our daughter, Parker Alyse who keeps us very busy and very tired. I love teaching, I love my family, and yes Mrs. McNaughton, I never did learn how to spell.

So that's what's happened to me in the last 14 years. I wonder if Buffy is on..

Thursday Thirteen

Hello again blog stalkers. You thought I was dead didn't you? Nope. Just busy recuperating from the holidays. Everyone wanted to see Parker, so it was quite a busy break. The transition back to school these past weeks has also been a bit hectic. I'm co-teaching an 3 week intensive Jterm class (on top of teaching refresher sessions for my AP classes). Suellen has returned to work after almost seven months off, and Parker started her 'day care' with Aunt Lauren. We've been busy with all that.

I have, however, been thinking a lot about a number of things, which is I guess is appropriate for the start of a new year. In that spirit, I've come up with 13 things I want to accomplish this year. I'd call them resolutions, but I'm not resolving to do them. They are more goals for myself.

1. Lose weight. Cliche? Yes. Too bad. I've been overweight pretty much my entire life, so I'm not looking for miracles here. Just maintaining more healthy habits and distancing myself from the heart-attack-at-40 danger zone. Suellen's family started this weight loss challenge thing in mid-October and I've lost 15 pounds since then (which I think is good considering the major eating holidays were in there). I've also begun tracking my daily caloric intake with this nifty little program for my iPod. All in all, I'm hoping this goal is attainable.

2. Read. I'm pretty sure I own more books than some small town libraries...and I've probably read less than half of them. It's hard during the school year to find time to read anything other than what I'm teaching, but I'm hoping that since we are watching less mind numbing TV now that Parker is here, I'll find more time for something I actually love to do.

3. Make a financial plan. I think Suellen and I have always been good with money. We save a bit each month, don't carry a balance on any of our credit cards, and aren't really the type of people who make big splurges. That being said, conceiving Parker was a huge cost to us, and if a second baby (and therefore bigger house) are on the horizon, we need to start working harder to achieve those goals.

...which leads to (or more appropriately stems from)...

4. Figure out just what we would need (and could afford) in a second home. This is particularly important to me right now as I sit in our frigid study typing. Clearly a more efficient furnace is high on the list. Heat pumps were not designed to handle this latest cold freeze.

5. Collect all my thoughts about conceiving Parker, having Parker, and now raising Parker into one coherent piece of writing instead of just keeping them in bits and pieces here and there and in my head.

6. Attend at least four arts events in the city. I love going to plays - even tiny obscure ones where their are only like ten people in the audience, ask Suellen - readings, performances of most kids, but we rarely ever go. Granted it is harder now that we have a baby, but I think a goal of one every three months is attainable.

7. Find a church. Now, let it be said, that I am not wholeheartedly a big fan of organized religion, but I do consider myself to be a religious and spiritual person. And, more importantly, I want Parker to have some sort of environment in which she can learn about God. This is difficult for us given that there are few churches in central Indiana that are waiting to welcome the lesbian family (and some of the ones that are, are a bit scary), but I'm fairly confident that we can find the right place for us.

8. Write more things down. Notice I did not say poems. I've kind of accepted the fact that I will probably never find the time to do the writing I once thought I would, but I at least would like to do a better job keeping record of my reflections on things, particularly now that Parker is growing up.

which does lead nicely to

9. Blog more. Fifteen days into the new year, and I'm just getting to this one. Yeah. This one might not happen.

10. Take Suellen on a trip for our anniversary. We will have been together 10 years this September, and I want to do something nice for that.

11. Take a vacation with Parker. Nothing far and nothing fancy, but I want to see the world with her, so why not start now...well maybe not in the frozen tundra of right now, but at least this summer.

12. Start playing the trumpet again. Suellen and I were fairly involved with playing a bit around town right before Parker, and I had forgotten how much I loved it. I like to reopen that creative outlet.

13. Go back to New Hampshire for a bit. While I do enjoy the fact that snow outside my window will melt before April (in NH, there was literally snow on the ground from November to April), I miss the Granite State. Moving there was a coming of age moment for me. Suellen and I never had a wedding or ceremony or anything, so moving there was kind of like our big 'life will never be the same' commitment step. I know we didn't always enjoy being so far away from home, but the time there was very meaningful for the both of us.


Ok, now I'm going to click 'Publish Post', and that will mean that someone out there will read these, and then I have to do them. We'll see how that goes.

Photo Tag

Thanks Joe...I'm supposed to be grading...


The object of the picture tag is to:

1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer
2) Select the 4th picture in the folder
3) Explain the picture
4) Tag 4 people to do the same

NO CHEATING! (cropping, editing, etc!)



This is Parker's first bottle in the NICU. I am clearly struggling with the burp cloth. I look like one of those snoody waiters opening your napkin for you.

I'm tagging Krysten, Andrea, Lauren O. and Kristin K. (who's blogs I often stalk).

Proofreading humor

Since I've been drowning under a deluge of grading these last few weeks (or maybe it's a month by now). There hasn't really been time for blogging, and there probably won't be for at least another week. However, I did come across this on the internet the other day, and I think it's frickin' hysterical. Of course my enjoyment of it maybe slightly skewed by the fact that I've actually read this type of paper.

The man on the left is Taylor Mali, an English teacher and award winning slam poet. the man on the right is Billy Collins, former US poet laureate, who I actually had the chance to introduce when he read at Butler.

It's a bit crude at times, but enjoy!

Untitled draft of something...

So I do this quasi-performance-art-exchange-of-narratives-club-thing at school. We call ourselves the Rubber Duckies - don't ask, there isn't a story behind it - and we craft these performances for various assemblies and events for the school. Anyway, here's the piece I did last Friday.

Seven. In case you are wondering. It’s seven. The number of times I can say the Lord’s Prayer in one minute. Seven.

Why do I know this?

Because I’m stuck here. In a hallway surrounded by what appear to be very large vending machines filled with medical supplies like intubator kits and IV bags, forceps and sterile gauze, waiting. For her to be prepped for surgery. And from here it seems, I can do nothing, but watch the clock. And pray.

It’s not a big surgery. Not one of those moments from a primetime TV drama where some renegade, but likable, doctor is going to swoop in at the last second with some absolutely genius way of removing a live hand grenade from a man’s chest cavity.

No.

It’s a planned c-section. One decided on in a small room, in a calm and rational manner without threat to either the mother or my daughter.

My daughter – that’s odd to say. Don’t get me wrong, I really wanted to have kids, but to be a parent, that’s something I’m still not sure I’m ready for.

Huh.

It’s funny, you know, because here. In this hallway. Legally. Technically. She isn’t my daughter yet at all.

But here I am, trapped between triage rooms and pre-sterilized scalpels, praying. For something that isn’t even born.


Just thought I'd share it here since I'm apparently too uninspired to actually blog.

Things that have happened since my last post

If you've been following Suellen's blog, you mostly know what has been happening with us, but I thought I'd throw in a few additional things that have happened to us over the last few weeks.

In no particular order....

1. I got caught up with my grading in time to write academic updates. This is actually a very big deal. I'm a big supporter of more writing yields better writing, which of course means more grading. And considering that I still had papers that were turned in when I was out with the baby, I was pretty pleased that I managed to get them all - over 500 pages - marked so that I could write my narrative comments for each of my 79 students.

2. Suellen got severe head cold, which was painful for all of us since she needed her rest and couldn't take the lead on normal nighttime baby duties on school nights (she has been extremely good at letting me sleep as much as possible when I have work the next day). Parker, thankfully, is not at risk to catch the cold since she's already receiving the anti-bodies Suellen is producing through the breast milk. Who knew? (well, actually all you blog-stalking moms probably did).

3. I got a severe head cold. No anti-bodies for me, but I did get to miss school today. Guess I should have been breast feeding. Actually, that's quite gross.

4. I managed to spill coffee all over a shelf of books, a stack of student papers, the carpet and an armchair while attempting to get up to attend to a screaming baby. Fun times.

5. I am now again woefully behind on my grading. Thank you head cold.

6. We surprised my mom by driving up to Chicago and bringing Parker to her school. She celebrated her first overnight trip by making a giant stinky green poo right in the middle of Greenwood Elementary.

7. We took Parker to get pumpkins and I carried her around in a Baby Bjorn complete with dangling orange pacifier attached to it. That brought my dorkiness to a new level.

And I think that's about it. Sleeping, grading, pooping, eating, fussing, drooling, sleeping, repeat. All of us doing all of that over and over again. That's my life. Awesome.

Friday Fill-ins

1. Picking pumpkins, changing leaves, slightly frost weather and FALL BREAK are some of the things I'm most looking forward to in October.

2. Sometimes I am amazed at Parker, and at the fact that it's been 15 days and I haven't severely damaged her yet. Whew!

3. When I spent almost a year collecting urine and watching government employees and suspected drug users pee in a cup, I was convinced I'd never find a job I liked. But now I haveand that's why there is a saying, "never say never"!

4. When I'm down, I I like to either read while listening to music or watch really superfluous movies (like X-men) over and over.

5. At school is where you'll find me most often. It sucks a good deal of my time.

6. A rainy day is good for napping on the couch!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to getting up with Parker every 3 hours since I no longer have the excuse of needing to work tomorrow (there's sarcasm for you), tomorrow my plans include napping while a friend comes over to sit with Parker and going with Suellen to the grocery store and Sunday, I want to do so much grade that my hand cramps up and falls off!

13 - well 11 - Songs I've Changed the Lyrics to When Singing to Parker

1. Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep Parker baby. You are tired and s'are your moms, and we all need to sleep. (to the tune of 'Lullaby and Goodnight')

2. Hush little Parker, it's time to go to sleep. Your mommy's getting crabby and she really needs some sleep. (to 'hush little baby, don't say a word)...are you noticing the sleep-related theme?

3. Uh! I don't want no chubs. A chub is a baby who has too much to eat. (TLC's 'Scrubs')

4. P Baby can you hear me? P Baby can you see me? P baby can you please go to sleep? (to 'Papa Can you Hear Me from Barbara Streisand's Yentl)

5. No wonder, you're fussy, you won't go to sleep ('No Wonder He Loves Her' also from Yentl...it was on TV last night)...I realize these are lost on you if you haven't seen Yentl, but at 10:00 when you are sleep deprived - it's hysterical!

6. All my friends wear a little diaper. Hook: Poop a little bit. Poop a little bit. Poop a little bit with me. (Low Rider)

7. Don'cha wish your baby was cute like me. (from the Pussy Cat Dolls)

8. Oops, I did it again. I pooped on myself, and cried and I screamed (Brittney Spears)

9. Baby P is not a fuser. She's just a girl who needs to e-eat right now. Because the ki-id is a chub (Billie Jean by Michael Jackson)

10. Because I'm Chubs. I'm Chubs. You know it! (Either 'Bad' by Michael Jackson, or 'Fat' by Weird Al - either is appropriate)...no, I'm not trying to give her an eating disorder.

11. My baby don't mess around because she wants to eat and this I know fo sure. (whatever that Outkast song was)

.......and I know I've done way more, but I've had to get up too many times while writing this post to think of them.

Thirteen Stories from Parker's First Week

Our little baby P is already one week old. She's growing up so fast (tear!). Well, maybe not that fast, but Suellen's doctor did joke that she'll be walking by the end of the week since she's so friggin' huge. Any way, here are 13 little P stories from her first week of life.

1. Parker was so big after her birth that the NICU nurses had to hunt around for size 1 diapers just to cover her big 'ole booty.

2. She's as big on the top as she is on the bottom. The standard issue hospital hats were too small as well, so Parker got a funky little knitted hat to keep her noggin warm.

3. For the first few days, Parker would only open her eyes in the presence of her uncles. If Eric or Stu wasn't there, we weren't getting any eye open time.

4. We purchased this cute little outfit with matching hat, onsie, mittens, booties, the whole shabang to take her home in. When we dressed her up on Monday and finally put the hat on, she gave Suellen and I the most disgusted look ever. It was like "What the hell is this crap?" She is totally our daughter.

5. On two separate occasions, Parker has put her hand to her mouth, removed her pacifier and held it up in the air. I know that's really random movement, but I like to thing it's the beginnings of genius.

6. Keeping with the hands theme, occasionally P will put her pinky finger up to her mouth in a very Dr. Evil way.

7. She also randomly throws her arms up above her head. We can't decide whether she's thinking "Hallejuah" or "Touch Down". Of course if she's really a Bears fan, it's probably both simultaneously.

8. The first time we took her into the nursery was to change her diaper. I was talking to her and narrating all the decorating we'd done, and as soon as I said something about the cute frog cover on her changing table, she peed all over it.

9. After the pee incident, we put her in her bouncy seat. About an hour later, she pooped all over that. When we took her into the nursery to clean her up, she got poop all over the changing table. Within six hours of being home, we were already on our last changing table cover!

10. She goes from sleeping to ravenously hungry in about 60 seconds. When she gets frustrated, she face plants into your sternum. Suellen and I call this 'looking for the mythical 3rd boob'. Clearly that's where all the milk is.

11. In fact, she was so hungry the other day, that as I was rubbing her cheek, she turned and latched on to my finger. She's got some really suction going on because I had to use my other hand to pry her off.

12. She makes the most horrid smelling farts ever. Ever.

13. I don't know if i's gas or what, but when you talk about her and you say something stupid, she lifts her one eyebrow at you. It's like she's already got a BS detector. You go P.

Wordless Wednesday Parker Pics

Update

Thank you to all for the congrats and good thoughts.

Parker is in our room now and doing fine.  She was released from the NICU around 2:00 pm yesterday.  The final diagnosis was transient tachypnea of the newborn - not pneumonia - it's a wet lung disease that happens in about 1% of babies, most commonly in c-sections (which she was).  

We had a fairly decent first night.  Parker is a champion sleeper, partly because she's still recovering from all of the uncomfortableness of tubes.  Of course we completely flipped out with every noise she made; so at about 5:00 am we finally sent her to the nursery so we could sleep.  We didn't want to do it sooner because we were just thrilled to have her.  

Both Mommy and baby will be discharged tomorrow, and we're glad will get a few days here with her to work out all the feeding issues.  Suellen is trying to nurse and we are making slow progress.  I'll spare you the details.

The wireless at the hospital won't let me post pictures for some reason, but I'll try to get them up soon.  

Thanks to all who have called, texted, visited and sent love.  We appreciate it!